i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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