My Higher Power is John Stamos
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
