I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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