His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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