Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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