Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
