So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
