we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
