He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize