So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Send help, water and tortillas.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
