things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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