just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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