clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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