Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
