Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
