I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize