God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
