i barfeds in our rink
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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