Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
