imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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