ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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