You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
