My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
