How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We are two peas in an std pod
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
