More tranny stories later!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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