yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize