Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
