in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
