I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
