I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
