How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
