You can't special order awesome
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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