I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
