My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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