Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
