If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
