I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
