please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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