Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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