she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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