You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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