i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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