she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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