I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize