i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
