last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
