I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
