im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
operation harelip BJ is a go
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't turn off my feet"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
