I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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