I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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