Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
