Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My cat gives me a boner
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ketchup is God's man juice
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize