you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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