i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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