we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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