woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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