He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
