can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
