do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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